A short guide to the tragic farewell in Chinese

So many expressions in language describe love and relationships as eternal: until the seas run dry and the rocks crumble (海枯石烂 hǎikū shílàn), until heaven and Earth get old (地老天荒 dìlǎo tiānhuāng).

A lover's pledge is called 海誓山盟 (hǎishì shānméng, an oath to the sea and mountains), expressing the idea that two people sharing true love will spend their lives together (一生一世 yì shēng yì shì), or every life (生生世世 shēng shēng shì shì), if you believe in reincarnation.

To be fair, the ancients who came up with those expressions were lucky to live past 30, so a lifetime together would probably only be a decade or so. Nowadays, failed relationships are more common than successful ones.

How do you deal with life's inevitable breakup moments? Don't even think about text messaging or phone calls if you have any decency. Here are some common breakup lines from which you might draw some inspiration.

First you want to explain your decision, telling the other person what went wrong. A good principle to follow is 好聚好散 (hǎo jù hǎo sàn, give a good ending to a good time together). If it is really nobody's fault, you want to stay neutral. A common word to use is 合适 (hé shì, fit), here referring to "compatibility".

We are not compatible.

Zánliǎ bù hé shì.

咱俩不合适。

Today, compatibility means more than the traditional standard of 门当户对(mén dāng hù duì, the status and wealth of the two families should match). Shared views, interests and values are often cited:

We don't have a lot in common to talk about.

Wǒmen méi yǒu gòngtóng yǔyán.

我们没有共同语言。

We don't share the three views, there's no way we can stay together.

Wǒmen de sānguān bù hé, méibànfà jìxù zài yìqǐ le.

我们的三观不合，没办法继续在一起了。

The三观(sānguān, the three views) is short for 世界观 (shìjièguān, view of the world), 人生观 (rénshēngguān, view of life), and 价值观 (jiàzhǐguān, view on values). Originally, the "three views" was a Marxist term taught widely in China and is often now used to refer to opinions in general.