HsunTze comments on "Chinese men looking west" (China Daily, Nov 13)

If I am inclined to look for a Western lady for a wife, I would look for the qualities I am comfortable with or I rather remain a bachelor.

First, she must be willing and ready to accept and adapt to China and our Chinese culture including learning Chinese and teaching our kids in Chinese. Without this skill, how could she reasonably live comfortably not able to mix and move around independently. My thought would be primarily for my kid whom I want to be a loyal and good citizen of China. I do not want him or her to be living in China but thinking about the mother's country because in a household, the lady of the house is likely to influence the growing kid more than the father who will likely be busy as the bread earner.

This Western lady need not be a Miss World nor be highly educated. Very importantly she should be healthy and willing to live in perhaps harsh conditions, be prepared to face the future uncertainties, be willing to sacrifice luxury for lesser comfort and of course be willing to be a partner till death do we part type. I am a one partner type and I would expect her to be the same. In other words, if there is meat, we eat meat others be happy with just con-gee.

In a partnership, there will always be certain hiccups occurring from time to time but then partners must learn to be tolerant and peacefully talk differences over and resolve them in harmonious ways. I do not believe in divorce and that is why I would look for a girl with a like mind as me. Partner for life whatever the situation. Can a Western woman do it?

How can a Chinese man with a mind of his own live together with a Western woman whom is reputed to be very outward too? The like poles of a magnet will oppose when the ends are placed close together. The unlike poles will attract. Human relations are like magnets. If one is hard, the other should be soft, then living together is possible. Of course having the same interest is quite another thing to compatibility.

Really it is most difficult to find an ideal mate, so it is vital for people not to rush into things and get hitch. You do not want to end with the marriage on the rocks. Divorces are common in the Western world but sadly this is catching up in China too. Perhaps our great values have been to some extent being diluted by Western influence.

I would be very selective looking for a Western bride, not to say that they will not choose me. Now if I have to look for one it means I have a choice. If I really can't find one, I will stay single.

With China's one child policy, little emperors are more than little empresses. Perhaps because of this, Chinese men may have to seek foreign brides. However, in my mind there are no better women than our own Chinese girls. One would not need to worry too much about lifestyle changes, adjustments to accommodate foreign spouses and of course, having to tolerate the culture differences.

We can learn foreign cultures but not invite foreign culture into our lives unnecessarily. I look at the kids of mixed marriages. What will become of them when they do not look Chinese nor American (as the children in this article showed). Looks may not be important but will they call themselves Chinese and be proud Chinese. Because the mother is American, it is most likely these Children are inclined to think Americanism than Chinese. It would be okay if both the Chinese father and the American mother make it a point to raise these beautiful kids to be very Chinese. But judging from the English names, I do not see this happening in this family.

I am a happily married person (of course with a Chinese wife). If there is reincarnation and I have a second chance I would still look for a Chinese wife. Luckily mixed marriage between Chinese man and foreign ladies are few in between. No I am not racist nor anti mixed marriages but I would prefer a distinct and identifiable Chinese race.

China is for the Chinese. Foreign wives must be willing to be integrated into being Chinese.

Apologies for E & O E

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