A deadly earthquake hit Sichuan province on May 12, 2008. Immediately, Chinese soldiers were mobilized to the epicenter to provide whatever support they could. This photo shows two tired soldiers resting on a fallen stone. [Photos/China Daily]

The army provide shaving service for earthquake victims in Yingxiu, Sichuan province.

Soldiers who retrieved bodies from the Wenchuan earthquake's ruins recall how the horrors of their experiences taught them to cherish their lives. An Baijie reports in Luoyang, Henan province.

An Le dug a body from the ruins, sterilized it with spray, carefully wrapped it in a shroud and moved on to the next.

It's a scene that repeats in the soldier's dreams, even though it has already been four years since he pulled people from the rubble of the 2008 Sichuan earthquake that left about 90,000 dead or missing.

An's company was dispatched to Yingxiu township, near the epicenter.

After the search for survivors ended on May 17, he dug bodies out of the rubble and disposed of them.

It was a tough mission for the 20-year-old soldier, who had never seen so many deaths.

"I'd never seen the corpse of a human being," he says. "I was so close to death that I felt very frightened."

He wasn't the only one. Many of the other soldiers didn't have his three years of military experience. Many hadn't even been enlisted for a year.

And many soldiers, like An, are only child, who'd never faced horrors.

"Nobody wants to carry out such a mission," he says. "But I'm the squad leader and had to lead."

An discovered the first body five days after the quake.

"He was a middle-aged man buried in building's ruins," he says.

"He was about 1.8 meters tall and a little fat."

The man's body was so heavy that eight soldiers carried him for more than 40 minutes. They cleaned the dust off his face, stood for a moment of silent tribute and wrapped the body in a blue shroud. "Corpses are really heavy and stiff," An says.

"It was also probably because we hadn't eaten enough for days and lacked strength that it was so hard to move him."

Porridge was all he could get to eat for a week. The squad's eight soldiers one day shared a bottle of water and a thin ham sausage. But the "mental torture" was worse than the physical discomfort.

Dismembered limbs and decomposition made the experience hellish. "It wasn't Hollywood," An says.

"It was real. It was heartbreaking."

The only protective gear he had was a surgical mask.

He recalls wanting to vomit after a particularly gory experience.

"But I restrained myself," he says.

The soldiers lost their fear of corpses over time, An says.

"We were too busy to be afraid, anyway," he says.

However, the fear returned with the nightmares that came later.

"But I'm not afraid in these dreams, because I treated the deceased like relatives," he says.

An's regiment recovered, carried and interred 391 bodies over 100 days, commander Yang Enhong says.

The military command offered the soldiers counseling and administered psychological tests, Yang says.

"The soldiers felt disturbed after seeing the quake's fury, but most of them are getting by and cherish their lives more after seeing how fragile life is," he says.

An took the test but refused counseling because he believes his mental state is normal, he says.

His colleague, 29-year-old Shen Houyu, says he has learned powerful lessons from his experiences.

He recalls discovering the body of a policeman who was trapped while trying to jump from a building's second story. His body was still in the jumping posture.

"Life's fragile and precious," he says.

"The rescue has made me grateful to be alive."

Xiang Mingchao contributed to this story.