THE WEEK Oct 11: Burned out

Got a light?

Russian President Vladimir Putin lit the Olympic torch in Russia this week, marking another milestone in the journey leading up to the 2014 Games in Sochi. The running of the torch is always memorable, but this time it wasn't for the best reason: The torch went out. Thankfully, one man near by had a cigarette lighter and was able to get the thing going again quite quickly.

US politicians embarrass country

The US congress continues its stand-off over legislation that has shut down the government. Because the politicians are acting more like an old, bitter couple than they are representatives of a country, many Americans in need are suffering. But the politicians don't seem to care; the biggest news in their minds is that the gyms in their office buildings will not be providing clean towels until the problem is solved.

Machete man says no

A burglary went horribly wrong for one man who tried getting money from a convenience store in New York. When confronted with a gun, the store owner whipped out a massive blade and scared the criminal away. Some video of a similar event resurfaced, and that got us wondering: Is it difficult to use a machete? We found our answer.

This wacky world!

Ikea stores in China have taken to the habit of changing the bed sheets every day, as customers in the country have made napping in the bed displays a normal afternoon activity.

Police cited a wrestler from the University of Iowa for shooting a duck with a bow and arrow in the backyard of his home. Last year, two of his teammates got in trouble for hunting rabbits on campus to make hats.

After breaking into a home, a man in Oklahoma took a poo before leaving with the stolen goods. Problem: He forgot to flush, and police were able to use DNA in the man's feces to track him down. That's a crappy situation.

London firefighters are urging people to use common sense after they were forced to help a man remove his penis from a toaster.

Buzz word:

Torch, To torch (noun, verb) -- a tool with a light (flame or electric) on one end; to light something on fire

Examples:

1. The cave was too dark to navigate, so we had to light our torch to be able to see.

2. My neighbor torched a pile of garbage in his backyard, and now the whole town is filled with black smoke.