Vonnie Lui (middle) and the cast of 3D Sex & Zen: Extreme Ecstasy,at Che Kung Temple in Hong Kong.  Provided to China Daily

Celebrity Sauce has been presented with a gagging order that prevents us from mentioning Party X, who is not married to Party Y, but has three children with him. The reason for this is that Party X's father, Party Z, has tremendous influence and we do not wish in any way to step on his toes or be sacked without further notice.

The three-way affair (please don't jump to unwarranted conclusions, dear reader) unfolded at the end of last week when Party Y said she had enough of being single and wanted to make an honest woman of herself. Apparently, her first boyfriend, from when she was a tender 9 years old, is prepared to walk her down the aisle.

Party X, meanwhile, is accused of having affairs with Parties A-W. Party X claimed this was a total fabrication and he didn't even know his ABC. For the record, we believe him.

We should underline here that the above is a work of fiction and in no way refers to any person dead, alive, or in Hong Kong.

Normal service resumed, here's the news: "Actress" Vonnie Lui has been asking for divine help, as the first ever IMAX three-dimensional sex film, which she stars in, is about to be released. She prayed that 3D Sex & Zen: Extreme Ecstasy would have a good box office.

Lui turned up at Che Kung Temple in Hong Kong in a relatively demure set of clothes that hid her sensuous curves - as a sign of respect when she asked for spiritual succor.

"I thought about dressing in a sexy manner, but before the gods in the temple you have to be respectful and not that hot," Lui said.

More good news from Hong Kong this week is the announcement from former Miss Hong Kong, actress Sonija Kwok, that she has finally found true love.

The 36-year-old's fiance, Zhu Shaojie, five years her junior, is director of the popular TV series The Palace, in which Kwok plays a concubine to the emperor.

Kwok said they met on a blind date arranged by a member of the film crew after wrapping up filming. She added she was moved to tears when Zhu eventually proposed, on his knees, in the presence of his mother. They plan to get married this year. Bless.

More family values, this time on the mainland, where the nation's top comedian Zhao Benshan said in a CCTV interview that his apprentices would have to ask him first before they could break up with their spouses.

Speaking of his star apprentices Xiao Shenyang and Wang Xiaoli, he said: "If they want to divorce, they must inform me first - and no one is going to divorce without my consent."

The comedic master said his apprentices were like his children and he was therefore well within his rights to treat them like kids. Clearly, Zhao believes in the Chinese saying: "A teacher for a day is a father for a lifetime."

Zhao has an olde worlde attitude that is refreshing when considering the goings-on of Party X, Y and Z.