Cut off my hands!
Updated: 2016-11-11 07:37
By Sun Jiahui(China Daily Europe)
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It's one solution for a shopaholic on Nov 11 - or you can eat dirt instead
Nov 11 used to be a normal day, but now it's been turned into a shopping carnival by Chinese online shopping platforms.
Online shops vow to provide discounts on that day, and buyers flood onto the shopping platforms to 囤货 (túnhuò, store goods) in the hope of lower prices. This led in 2015 alone to sales volume on Alibaba, a domestic online shopping platform, of 91.2 billion yuan ($13.5 billion; 12.2 billion euros; £10.8 billion) within 24 hours on Nov 11. The sales of eight commodities, including watches, nuts and cellphones broke the Guinness record.
On the other hand, while enjoying spending, many buyers spent more than they had on that day, and debt skyrocketed. Here we introduce some interesting and popular expressions about buying on Singles Day.
"You came to grow grass again? I've been eating dirt! Now I have to chop off my hands again!" This is not, as you might first imagine, the tale of a dirt-eating landscape gardener with a severe self-harm complex. No, this is a shopaholic (购物狂 gòuwù kuáng). If you are the type to head downtown and come back with more bags than sense, you'll need to learn these simple phrases: chop off hands (剁手 duòshǒu), eat dirt
(吃土 chītǔ) and grow grass (种草 zhòngcǎo).
With that in mind, the implicit meaning of the opening sentence is: "You come to me recommending fancy goods? I've spent all my money! I can't believe I will shop even more."
To "eat dirt" is a fairly easy one; it means you're broke. But, what's less obvious is that the phrase implies that you've overspent. A shopper might look at her credit card bill and scream: 我为什么买了这么多衣服? 我这个月只能吃土了!(Wǒ wèi shénme mǎi le zhème duō yīfu? Wǒ zhège yuè zhǐnéng chītǔ le! Why did I buy so many clothes? I can only eat dirt this month.)"
It's a cruel world out there for people who yearn for Prada and hanker for Harry Winston, with signs assaulting the senses with
"买买买!" or "buy, buy, buy!"
Advertisements spring from every shop and billboard, so it's no wonder that the phrase for having one's appetite whetted for fancy new goods is described as "growing grass", meaning "plant a desire in the mind". This phrase is often used in a passive voice, as in: "我被种草了。(Wǒ bèi zhòngcǎo le. I was grown grass.)"
Ungrammatical as it sounds, it's a common expression. Hearing about a sale, seeing a commercial for watches, even being recommended a new trashy reality television show, can all be met with "I have become grown grass", meaning the advertising has taken root and you're hooked (or in need of some sort of impulse item hedge trimmer).
Accordingly, when you finally buy what has been grown, you pull off the grass, or 拔草 (bácǎo). This is perhaps best illustrated with the sentence: "我惦记这款包很久了,今天终于拔草了! (Wǒ diànji zhè kuǎn bāo hěn jiǔ le, jīntiān zhōngyú bácǎo le! I have been thinking about this bag for so long and finally pulled off the grass today!)"
However, some grass grows too deep, and when you're eating dirt, you might find the need for a more severe metaphor. A shopper might, with timid determination, shout: "我要是再买就剁手!(Wǒ yàoshi zài mǎi jiù duòshǒu! If I buy one more thing, I will chop off my hands.)"
Actual bloodshed is rare. Rather, it is a stolid declaration of suffering for spending, not unlike the Biblical passage: "If thine hand offend thee, cut it off." The term can even be made into a declaration of intent; one might say "I will chop off my hands today" in anticipation of their shopping spree.
Sadly, spending disorders can be quite serious - affecting family members, friends and others you love. People suffering should seek psychological help. That is, unless they're buying a copy of The World of Chinese. If that's the case, "买买买!" You handless dirt-eater.
Courtesy of The World of Chinese, www.theworldofchinese.com
The World of Chinese
(China Daily European Weekly 11/11/2016 page23)
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